Life- Changing Definition of its own

Is life really that an easy task to survive as described in books and even in my previous blogs?
This is the question in my mind that I want to answer myself. I dont know that how am I going to find out about this and whether in the end i will reach to some conclusion or not. But one thing is for sure, I will learn a lot while assembling my thoughts.

                                                                         *****

DREAMS BREAK IN THIS GAME

Life is like a game with just two outcomes for ever turn. One is you will succeed and other one is quiet obvious choice,you will lose everything.

Every big turn in life involves great risks. Putting in the terms of economic, big profits involves big risks. If a person dreams to achieve big things in life, he/she needs to risk a whole lot of things for that.

Risks may look good and interesting in movies and add commercials. But in actual life they are usually not accompanied with a bright ending. Movie names "Pursuit of Happiness", makes everyone learn two things about life

1) Life would be very harsh and nothing can be achieved without giving yourself unbearable mental pain. Those who will somehow get along, will be termed as WINNERS and those who will fall anywhere in between, will be forgotten in the crowd.

2) Hard work will pay back in future. Sooner or later, one will achieve the feat. Hope of achieving something big always keeps a person on. It gives you strength to fight back but with the risk of taking away everything if you will take it as an extra load  over your shoulders.

SPEND NIGHTS DOUBTING YOUR CALIBER

During the journey of life, one will experience hundreds of sleepless nights. Hundreds of nights when you will scratch your head hard but wont get any jini to ask for your wish and grant it easily. Most these sleepless nights would revolve around a QUESTION MARK.

A simple sign of English language that is used to indicate ambiguity about something. This sign would put a big label of "Whats Next". Its not at all easy to slip away these nights because the empty cup of the following morning is already filled up to the brim by the cup of fighting and conflicting thoughts.

But is it really a case of concern?

Would the life be really as exciting and adventurous as it is for a fighter who is about to fight with an unknown opponent?

For me, all this is really something that keeps the heat level up. But even I hate it when it gets on to my nerves. Even I feel that it is not easy when you are on the lower side of the coin and no one can see you.

So, are these sleepless nights really worth?

I guess I need to think some more....

LOOSING THE NEAR AND DEAR ONES

Separation can take different meanings during different situations.

Sometimes separation is between two people due to some underline dispute whereas sometimes due to final and inescapable route.

Both of these break a person from within,especially the second one. Everyone has experienced and no one wants to experience it further. Still, everyone has to keep fighting with this as its not under one's will. Its by god's choice. No one can undo this loss. 

But the undeniable fact is that its is the rule of this game. One day you will win the game whatsoever you do to bring innumerable losses on your end. On one fine day, people will say that now he/she will REST IN PEACE.

Because tensions and struggle has ended.

I may sound little insane while I say all this but truth is inevitable. And maybe ineffable for me to explain it.

But that's the way every story is destined to end. No story can just keep on going on and on.

When I read the second chit out of the this box, it is labeled as "dispute". Seems to be a lighter thing to discuss than the previous topic but it holds such knots that can't be loosen up easily.

When two people are saying north and south pole, they end up with a fight. It may involve any two people, sharing any bond with each other.

Today, I experienced one with my one of the best friends. It turned ugly and in the end we decided to stop crossing each other's path.

But it left me with a loose end.

Friends matter so much in ones life especially when you start sharing your personal stuff with them. Sometimes you fight, you tease, you laugh and then hug. Whatever happens in life, a friend is always there saying

Bro, I am still here. I will never let you walk alone.

But what when he/she, leaves you and decides to walk away?

Who should be blamed, friend or you?

SOMETIMES INTROSPECTION LEAVES YOU FEELING GREY

When you look back and see that what all happened through out, life never seems to be a clean and easy journey. It never looks that you have reached at this destination very easily. Difficulties and problems are the two main ideas that pop up into ones mind and changes the conditions of phase. Instead of using 17, a person over burdens face muscles by using 43.
It always seems like a fight in which you have suffered bruises all over the body. You are like Leonidas with not even 299 more with you, fighting against the enormous army of Xerses. All alone out there.
All this never feels right, at least not the way you planed it to be. Its like a mosquito who is sucking life out of you and giving you a slow and painful end.


Maybe many of you will feel that my earlier philosophies about the life were like a "Wonderland journey". And now I am onto something practical.

Everyone goes through a tough phase. Everyone has to shed tears on the loss of someone close or on an ineluctable defeat of your dream.These tough phases may break great wall of China and even great wall of India(used for Indian cricketer Rahul Dravid). What I mean is that handling stress of loosing something big, of putting someone else on the danger side and of getting nothing out of everything is scary. Everyone feels scared not to win.
Legends like Sachin Tendulkar, Mike Tyson, Dhyan Chand, Michael Jackson and so on and so forth have faced such chills going down their spine. Sachin also has sleepless nights when he underwent a surgery for tennis elbow and was unable to even lift a cricket bat. Michael Jackson also had fear to keep performing up to that "near perfection level".

Life is always changing definitions. Its always taking different turns and round abouts on the roller coaster. Sometimes its on the highest point of the track when you feel like the KIND OF THE WORLD while sometimes its crashing down so hard that you feel that everything achieved is just going past you. Its never ever going to be a stable boat ride in the lake but will be journey in the sea. One which is filled with slowly, relaxing and calm water whereas the other side is filled with splashing and roaring water.
Its all about how you take it to be.
A person suffering with a deadly disease named quadriplegia can also lead a normal and happy life. Leaving behind all the problems, all the difficulties and all the soar thoughts and flying high,running furiously and swimming deep. All because of his mental set-up.
Such physically crippled ,but mentally fertile, people can make each one of us learn innumerable things about life.

                                                        

   

All is up here..
You got me right.




Mind!!!

Unfinished...

Sometimes life leaves some stories without a full stop. No matter, how much you try, you can never place that "Dot" after the chapter.

Maybe a person can forget such chapters but a for a guy like me, its next to impossible. And the next  means away from possible not before impossible.

Today I am happy that I completed one of such chapters which had the potential to haunt me through out my life. But the reason I still remember is that I am not satisfied.

Even after I placed the FULL STOP after this chapter, it will always remain

UNFINISHED

                                                                               *****

Today one of our respected Ecology teachers called us for an extra class to the college.

I struggled to reach to the college gate at 9:10 but the class had to commence at 9am. Maybe 10minutes is not that a big deal for us but for our respected Ecology teacher, it was like I refused to answer a question, which was again like I was predicting that Pakistan will win against India in a cricket match. I guess now people can infer the seriousness of being punctual in his class.

My breath was heavy and body was profusely sweating. As I reached near the class, I saw everyone having a gala time in the canteen. This indication was enough for me to take a deep breath of relief. It was like a goat which was about to get butchered survived as the sword went past its neck but didn't hurt it at all.

I went and had a great laughter session with all my batch mates. At 9:20, the sir was here.

We all quietly and quickly settled in the class.

                                                                              ***** 

Sometimes, you try hard, harder and hardest to solve the puzzle. But when you put all the available blocks in a sync, you see that one block is missing.

Even after putting this much effort, the puzzle will always remain unfinished.

Some chapters of one's life are like this unsolved puzzle. You get everything in place but the god just don't want you to complete this chapter. This page will always remain turned in your book.

                                                

                                                                             ***** 

Sir started with the lecture on Ecology.

I must say, he is a great teacher. The way he explains everything, using numerous examples, is just extra ordinary. He tries very hard that the concept is clear in every mind. He is little strict but that is compensated with his teaching standards

But today my mind was flying out of this prison.

Of course this was a prison.

No matter how good he is, coming to the college when its a holiday is nothing better than going for a picnic and on the way tire gets punctured. We all were sitting as if we are beaten and made to sit in the class.

My mind was flying high but suddenly our teacher switched on the vacuum cleaner and I found myself inside its stomach.

"Hey you!! Where are you today?"
These words brought me out of the wonder land.

Crap!!

I never get that luck card. Caught again...

             

                                                                          *****

Today I was busy thinking about an unfinished story of my life.

Exactly two years in past, I was working hard to get a seat in the medical college at this time. I left my college, leisure, sleep and entertainment to find my self wearing that DOCTOR'S COAT.

But this chapter never got its "DOT".

I tried twice but never landed up in a college that can make a MBBS doctor. The reason that I mentioned MBBS is that I got a seat in the best BDS college of India but left it to fulfill my dream.

I gave it a second shot thinking that I would regret that Why I never gave my dream another shot. Today I am happy that I tried again, unlike many of friends who regret this. But I am not satisfied.

No matter how much I try to end this thing, it would always be a loose end. This story would ways be

Unfinished.

Its not always the death which leave things unfinished. Most of the times its just too difficult, too expensive and too scary. Its only when once you stop, you realize how hard it is to start again, how hard it is to start something new again. so you force yourself not to want it but it is always there and until you finish it, it will always be .............

P.S- With time I got some closure too.                     

Mental Virginity-Need of The Hour(Part-3)

Guy- You are looking cute.

Girl(smiling)- Thank you..

(Talking to herself- What did he see in me that made me look cute to him? Am I looking weird or is he just trying to impress me? Is he trying to hit on me? Is he looking at me or just at my ...........?

What is actually going on in his mind? These guys are always interested in physical aspects...

Cheepoo..)

Such is our GIRL SOCIETY!!
Instead of feeling happy that she just earned a vote of compliment, she is worried that what did he actually notice.
Now just think friends-

                                              Who needs mental virginity this time??

                  

                                                                        *****

Sometimes you confront such events which make you think that do I actually having some wrong intentions. Am I actually a bad guy.

Few days back, I faced a similar situation. A friend told me that one of my colleagues thought that I am trying to hit on her, and surprisingly this happened when I was just trying to be friendly with her.

I was so shocked by this revelation that I actually wanted to just approach her and ask that why did she felt so. All types of absurd questions about my personality started rising up in my mind. I was completely dumbstruck for some time. I even asked a very close friend that do I have some serious issues?
Only when she assured me on this, I felt better.
Phewwww...
Girls!!!
Just makes you go topsy-turvy.

You might think that why was I bloody disturbed? After all, its not that a big deal.

But

For me, it was!!

She is my co worker and due to her abstract thought process, I had to suffer for one entire month. She always acted in an ill mannered way with me. Irrespective of my level of input, she always said to me that I don't do anything. It became so irritating that every part of me suffered. Every sphere of the life got its share of this burden and my overall performance saw a big dip.

                                                                             *****

I was travelling in the metro and was thinking about my behavior. My self introspection paused as I played some music on my phone. A popular song, "Saada Haq" diverted the focus of my mind.

Fever of this rock music changed the course of things. The anger, tension and every other thought reached its peak and the volcano erupted in the form of sweat profusion. 

That helped me a lot as i got rid of extra pressure. As soon as I got my focal length adjusted, my mind started working and recovered from the sedation. I thought every instance and re-evaluated it.

"Rohini East. Doors will open on the left. Please mind the gap"

Metro announcement lowered my body temperature and my CPU got some rest.

Now my Crazzzzzzy Rupish was out of the cage.

My mind started popping some cool (for me), crazy (for others) and bugging(for her) thoughts.

                                                                            *****                                               

Thing to think is that is it only the mental narrowness of agnatic society or is it just a pseudo presumption of effiminate people?

I guess the need of the hour is to open this narrowness irrespective of the sex.
Time to think some more...

P.S- One of my crazy thoughts was to write this blog and post it on her FB account...

Will You Sell Your Ferrari?

I am sorry folks.

I am sorry that my mind always comes up with so weird and funny things which are incomparable. Sometimes, I share my happiness, sometimes my sadness. Sometimes my doubts while sometimes my weird imagination.

This time I crossed all my previous set records on CRAZY-WEIRD SCALE(sounds awesome).

I began with a survey in my area. My question was very simple and answer was even simpler. But I don't know that why people were acting altruistic in the first go. Only 13% of the total, accepted this simple answer in their first go.

Another 70% joined hands with this option as and when I asked them few more question.

In all, 83% population agreed with this option. (I know that rest would have also joined this side but we need to keep few on the other side of the balance to show it as a "neutral" senses report).

My question was as simple as this-

"What is your final goal in life?"

Let me ask this question to all of you.

..

....

.....

Just Think for some more time guys. The more you think, the more extraordinary and amusing answer will pop up in your mind.

........

.........

Done??

...

...

....

For those who are still thinking, please think harder and then we will see that what you actually want from life, as I am sure you are off track by now.

My First Survey report is here-

53% =To be a better person

22% =To be with my family/girl friend/ loved ones

13% =To earn Money

5% =Do something for my country

7% = Can't mention,these people crossed all barriers

Now, you guys can fit your answer into any of these categories.

Think again guys...

Maybe, you will also shift to that "13% category". If not then I respect your firm mind set up. Keep it intact till the end of this blog else I wont let you go away my friend. You will be trapped in my chakravyu(trap).

The reason why 53% of the people say that their actual goal in life is to be a better person is something related to our upbringing.

Since our childhood, we are taught that the Bad guy always loses the fight against the Good guy. No one wants to lose in their life. So, our mind set tends to get inclined towards this side.

So, when I ask that what you want from life, people choose this option readily.

22% choose the 2nd option. Reason is as simple as this that everyone is attached to the people who are with you through out your ups and downs.

5% choose country due to their patriotic feeling which was pounding furiously and was trying to come out in the form of this answer.

Rest were full of random thoughts.

I even got answers like Bus conductor, Driver, Sweeper etc( I didn't mention the age of the audience).

My next question which changed the mind set of 50% of the audience was-

"Will you sell a Ferrari to achieve what you said before?"

This question was like an attrition to the firmness of their decision.

Most of them replied,"What's the need? I will do it even if I own the Ferrari"

People just veered their direction as soon as their minds bumped up with the thought of selling a Ferrari. They tried to reckon through the set rules and finally swerved away their path.

Reason is as clear as my answer sheets.

People always have inevitable desire to earn money and get luxury. I am not saying that they don't want what they choose in the first place. But what I am saying is that they always want that this thought should supplement money.

Without Benjamin Franklin, no one can lead a happy life.

The extend of the urge to earn more may differ from person to person, but no one can live without this Ferrari.

After all, FERRARI IS WORTH DYING MAN!!

Wrong Place,Wrong Time!!

Every day brings something new and different with it. On some fine morning, we just wake up and feel

"Yes man!! Today is my day"

We feel the music beats according to our steps,every melody turns into rock and hip-hop and we just banish all barriers.

But some day, tables turn upside down. Nothing rhymes with our words, lines turn zig-zag and everything goes topsy-turvy.

But few days stand out of this "usually line". They are the mixture of energy and events or EVENERGY (another awesome made up word :P)

We feel the grooves but are unable to move,feel the energy but there is no asynergy. It just gets used up to prevent ourselves from some locking and popping of this life.

                                                                              *****

Today was one of such rare occasions when I had an evenergystic day(still sounds awesome :P).
Woke up with sweet sound of rain water kissing my window pane. I felt as if this day would bring something memorable in my life and actually, it did. I was all set to enjoy the weekend.

First event came up when I was trimming my beard. It is the worst half an hour of my entire week. But today, god was all set with his share of popcorn.

POWER CUT!!!

And my trimmer is not having any battery back up. I had to hide myself for almost an hour. My half trimmed mustache could have never ever looked better than this.

Somehow, I got rid of this and unaware of the plan of the nature,I went out of my place. As soon as I stepped out of my society, some spoilt brat gave me a free mud-bath.

Ya!!
Mud-Bath..

Not that herbal one. The one in which you are walking like a cool dude on the road and someone drives his car as if he is on an F1racing track and crosses the puddle when you are adjacent to it.

I guess now you all must have got it..

Don't laugh man!!

:P

I went back home and took a bath again.
Now, I decided to stay at my place for the entire evening. But on such days, even home is not sweet enough. I slipped twice and ran into door and bed.
                                                                             *****
My mind got puzzled and I started to think that even after such an energetic start,why everything is happening wrong with me. The answer stuck my stuck mind after half an hour
WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME!!

Its just like this sparrow
One is beautifully carved and anyone with big fat bank balance, will pay whatever the label says just to decorate it in their mansion.

The other one is of an actual bird. Sitting near the city dump-yard and no one will even give one good look to it once.
Living animal is having no value but its curved show piece maybe sold even in millions.
Reason....


The topic says it all

Mental Virginity- Need of The Hour(Part-2)

Weekend!!
That part of the week when one gets chance to do what all he/she was planning to do since last 5 days.

From last 2-3 months, my schedule is jam packed with various duties and tasks to be performed in time. So, I get some free time just during the weekend and I enjoy it to the utmost level.

After an over burdened week, I finally managed to see the sunrise of Saturday (I know it sounds as if I am a soldier and is engaged in some battle or so, but believe me friends, last week was nothing less than a battle). I woke up late, kept roaming in the house frivolously and kept groping for the newspaper in the house. I enjoyed doing everything in ultra-slow motion.  :-P

After the sunny day passed, I went out with a friend to make my weekend as well as this evening more enjoyable. We ate at food joint and enjoyed some good music.  As and when I came back to my place, I switched on my laptop and opened a famous site to download some rocking numbers. By mistake I typed the top level domain as ".com" in stead of the one used to open the site. And the search results were not at all linked with the music, at least not with the kind of music for which I was searching online.

I was startled when I saw the screen of my laptop. I closed the web page and tried to divert my mind but it was of no use.

                                                                             *****

Few years back, one of my seniors told me some websites on which I can play some cool PC games. I was unaware of the actual side of the coin. When I reached home from my school, I switched on the PC and the router. I was all set to play some different and exciting games. After I click on "Go", I placed my self in front of the blue world for the first time. I clicked on few links to search for the games on those sites but my ears turned red as I saw pornographic pics all over the site. I was shocked to see those pics on the 12" screen and I just switched off the computer.

Later that night, my sister called me and asked me that what all am I watching on the computer these days?
I understood the direction of this conversation but I just tried to confabulate as if I don't know anything. My sister is like God to me. She catches all the thoughts in my mind very easily. To my surprise, she just hugged me and told me that what I did today is natural but unethical. I still remember the exact words she said to me.
She said

" Rupish, I am not at all angry with you. Its very much natural in this age group. But you should know that what you saw today is actually included in mythologies of many cultures. 

In Hindu Mythology, Greek Mythology, Christianity etc, nude paintings of God and Goddesses are very common.  They were never seen with the eyes of a nymphomaniac. This art was considered divine and religious.

Its just the filthy mind of humans that is polluting this world. Mental Virginity is more important than physical virginity. Never ever pollute your mind with such thoughts".

I cried in front of her and told her my story. She said me that I trust you and I know that you will never ever resort to such things.

                                                                            ***** 

Suddenly, I came out of the past and gave a pat on my back. I was happy that after the first encounter with pornography, my sister caught me. Even though I was not the culprit but I am happy that I had to confront her on this issue. Maybe she trusted me, maybe not. But her words of trust and faith in me made me go past these things.

And why I patted myself was that

I NEVER EVER LOOKED BACK.

P.S- Later, I re-opened the explorer and deleted the history. Because if this time I was caught, she would have killed me..
:P

Mental Virginity- Need of the Hour

 Yesterday, I was going back to my home after an exhausting and overloaded day. Connaught Place is the hub of Delhi and the metro trains are packed at the peak hours from its station. Somehow, after struggling with my muscle cramps and sweat showers, I managed to get inside the metro. I was standing in the 2nd compartment i.e next to the compartment reserved for ladies. After I gulped in some water and tried to wipe sweat using my handkerchief which was already drenched in sweat, I looked around and saw many faces with different expressions.

Sometimes, it becomes so interesting to look at the numerous faces around and to try to judge that what has happened with whom. Its the best option to pass the free time when the body and mind have already opted for retirement. Suddenly, I saw a face and my eyes were unable to move and mimic anyone further.
Brown eyes, long eye lashes, maybelline adding more beauty to this limitless beauty and the shimmering smile. My eyes just glued to this pretty face. I controlled my senseless thought process and noticed that she was feeling very uncomfortable. I saw around and understood the reason, over attention.

Many males were staring at her and this was making her feel quiet out of the place. On one side, I just saw the beauty and cuteness of her face,  on the other side people went beyond that limit.
A sudden current of anger and disgust passed through me. It was the moment where I was unable to think that how can I help her out. Before I could think of any possible solution, she thought of one- shift to ladies coach.
Maybe the crowd returned to being pointless after this but my mind and body were in no situation to be like them, at least not after this.
Is this,what we call "our well socialized society"?
Is this the correct way to treat another human of opposite sex?

And I Feel So Lonely....

Today my colleges re-opened for the next academic year.
I was supposed to be excited,happy and in crusading zeal. Instead, I was drowning in my self created black water of thoughts. There are times when you wait for something to happen but when it actually happens, you feel that it was useless waiting for that thing to happen. Something like this happened with my excitement for the colleges to re-open.
Such perplexed thoughts eclipse the beauty of the day. Person gets baffled by his own thought machinery. In the end, all these thoughts find their concentric center at "being lonely".

A person associates his/her low points by pasting the label of being lonely in life. Every one feels that life could have been better if someone would have been their. Someone,in whom we can find solace, a place just meant for "me". Someone with whom we can share all our pains. One with whom we can sit for hours and share inanity of our silly mind. A person in front of whom we can say anything,do anything, feel anything and share anything.
A person's one forth part of the life goes into drain just to find this "someone". Some lucky ones find the "someone" in their partner while the unlucky one's try to kill their loneliness using other means(like I am writing this blog to do the same :P). Even if you are having a partner, he/she may not be available when you need them. In that case, such absurd thoughts gasps into your mind.
But the question is that
Why do we always need someone when we know that we will be alone at most of the crucial situations in our life?

This can be considered as an inevitable desire of a person or ineffable need of the restless soul within our body. A person just needs a comforting hand going through the hair and giving the needed halt from the unstoppable struggle of this "not so chosen lifestyle". After an exhausting day, a person just needs that care and love which cant be quenched with any 7 hours sleep.

                                                                             ******
Just while typing this blog, I came across a beautiful quote which gave me the needed strength and prepared me to face the next morning with the energy level at which I can lead any juggernaut. Its from some Anonymous source-
"When you are feeling lonely, your are actually an inch closer to millions of people who are having the same feeling at this moment"

I hope that it will be of some help for all those who are still feeling
Lonely!!!
P.S- One can win any battle alone man.... 
Lets Go For The Glory!!!

Final Destination of Life

FOR THE READERS
I know that in this blog , I will sound paradoxical in respect to my previous blogs but I need to share this feeling with you all. I am saying so as life will never be a wonderland for anyone here. Be prepared to face some bitter truths, some unanswerable questions and never ending thoughts.


The Delhi weather is turning out to be a bloom season for the flowers. Almost everyday, people are blessed with beautiful rain droplets falling from the endless sky. Such a weather turns everything serene,pure and beautiful. When the sun rays touch the green leaves, sky gets filled with every color. Walking with bare feet on the wet grass, touching and feeling the pure water droplets and enjoying the bounty of nature, all this is a part of one's perfect life. After my another exhausting week, I finally got some time to enjoy the divine nature. I went outside and strolled towards a park nearby. As soon as I entered the park, I realised the reason that why Aristotle said
                             "In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous"

I felt as if my eyes are a part of the pearl falling from that leaf tip, my body is like the rain water resting on the carpet of grass after covering a long and exhausting journey from the sky. I felt like a monk who is meditating on Mt. Everest and is in his utmost peaceful state. The surroundings were full of different colors of nature and life. My concept about life i.e "Live Life and Enjoy till you Last" got its deserving justification after enjoying in this rain.
I suddenly got a call from my friend. She was also enjoying the weather. Two of us did a little chit chat and as soon as I was about to end the conversation, she said something which washed away all the colors around me. She mentioned that her Nani (grandmother) had brought her home made pickles.
This reminded me of my grandmother who passed away this February.

                                                                             *****

It was the winter time in Delhi,India. The day started in a normal manner but no one had even the slightest idea that it would turn out to be the worst winter morning for us. I was having a gala time with my family when the phone rang. My mother picked up the call and everything changed around me.
"Heart Attack!!"
She  exclaimed this in some pain and mostly surprise. All of stopped at our places and minds diverted off the track and towards the phone call. As soon as she cut the call, she broke into tears. My dad rushed towards her and gave her a little comfort in his arms during the most painful time. He asked with trembling voice
"what happened?"
My Mother told her that my Nani (grandmother) suffered from a severe heart attack last night.
Everything went black for me. I felt as if someone took away one of my reasons to stay alive. Since my childhood, I had an unspoken bond of love with my grandmother. This bond was so strong that I loved her more than my own mother. Whenever we visited her, I used to stay with her for most the time. I enjoyed helping her with kitchen chores,going to the local market with her and the time when we talked a lot i.e the morning walk. I quickly revived myself from the nostalgic memories.
We quickly packed our bags and were ready to leave for the hospital.
I don't know why it happened to me but before we left, my dad got a call from my tayaji( brother of my dad). He said that leave Rupish at our place as my Nani's condition is stable now. My dad left me at his place and rest(Mum,pa and my sister) left for the 4 and a half hours long journey.

Till date I curse myself that I agreed with this decision.
I was really very worried all the time. I was not in a situation to eat,think or say anything. I felt as if I am trapped in a small box. My hands are tied and I am dying slowly due to asphyxia.
After this point, story splits into 2 halves

1. Story according to Me
2. Actual Story 

My parents reached the hospital. They called me up and told me that Nani is still under danger and nothing can be said. It was like a disaster for me. Expressing those feelings in words is impossible.
Somehow, I managed to sleep for that night. Next morning, I called my dad and asked the current status. He informed me that She is in a better situation now. Although it provided a bit of relief to my restless soul but I was still very upset, actually more than "just upset". I felt like visiting the most sacred place I knew around, Jhandewali Mata Ka Mandir(a holy temple of Goddess Jhandewalan).
I took the metro and reached my destination after an hour. I just burst into tears as I felt as if my grandmother has left me alone.
Somehow the never ending day passed and the next day, my father told me that she is safe and they are coming back for a week or two.
I was anxiously waiting for my parents. As soon as they reached the home, they informed me that my Grandmother passed away.

My heart is bleeding as I am typing this blog. But somehow I will try to complete it as I started this with a question in mind and I want to put it forward to all my dear readers.
Actual Story was my parents got the worst news on their way and since then they cried their eyes out.
The cremation was done as per Hindu Rituals.
I never got to see her and won't even get this chance ahead.

                                                                               *****
One word "Grandmother" took me 5 months back in time. All the colors of my life faded away. After 5months, I emerged little stronger but with an unbearable loss.
After this, I ended the call with my friend and I got a question in my mind.
What life is all about?
Is it just meant to create relationships with other so that hundreds cry when you die? Or is it just meant to face all the problems thinking that one day you will live for your own self and before that day comes, you get tranquility of white? Or is it meant to carry so many responsibilities on your shoulder and then suddenly leaving all of them to sleep forever?
Such thoughts overshadow the colors of "happy living".


For further reference, Read
Life-Definition of its own 

Who is this "Mr. God"?

In my last blog, I expressed my whole "Mind at the Next Level Theory" and in the end,I mentioned that this situation helped me to re-connect with my God.
But before I express my views on this complex and very sensitive topic , I want all my readers to ask a few questions from your inner self.

• Do you believe in God?
• If yes/no, what made you take that decision?
• If Yes, then how can you believe in something that can't be seen?
• If No, then just think of the first words that come out of your mouth when you see something terrible? (Are they something like,"Oh Jesus" or "Holy Christ"?)

 In my early life( I just 19, but even I had an "early life" :-P ), I was an orthodox believer of God. In everything good, I used to credit God's presence and in everything bad, I used to think that maybe god has something better hidden in his chest for me.
I clearly remember an incident which made my belief more concrete.
About 2 years back, I was preparing for medicine. One day, I lost a very important note book. It had all my notes and important questions. I was very tensed. My mum checked every possible and impossible place. But everything was in vein. 2-3 days passed but every effort was futile. Next morning, while I was on my way to school, I passed by my society temple. I prayed to god that please turn the impossible task into possible. Believe me or not but when I returned from my school, I saw the register lying over the bed.
                                                                             *****
Time passed and my exam time arrived. I was well prepared for medical exam. Two years of my end less efforts were to be tested in the next 3 hours. I was apprehensive about the exam but on the same side I was raring  to give my best shot. Luckily or unluckily,everything went good for me.

Result time was near. I was very anxious to see that where my future is destined. But fortunately or unfortunately, I lost everything in that battle.
All my dreams shattered and so did my belief in god.
" When you lose something big, you lose many big things in a go"

                                                                            *****
PRESENT DAY/AFTER TWO YEARS
Yesterday's incident created a different atmosphere around me. It made me feel that whatever we have, whatever we do and whatever happens, everything is connected with each other.
If I would have got an admission in medico, I may have been leading a terrible life. A life where my actual self could have died long ago.
But today, I live a healthy and most importantly a HAPPY LIFE. I do whatever I feel like doing. Multiple things like Guitar, Dance, Karate, Day out with friends etc have returned to my life. I left all these things to get into a medical college. I changed myself. Now I feel more confident, more lively and more happy. And I guess, this is what actually life is.
"Live every moment like its your last moment alive"



Definition of God has changed in my dictionary. Earlier, I searched god in some idol or some prayer. But now, I found out that
God is in every person, in everything.
I strongly feel that there is some super natural force, that is circulating the positive energy all around us.
Don't you think that the negative energy is way more than the positive energy in the people around? Then from where do we get the
HOPE TO LIVE IN EVERY ODD SITUATION!!!
Time to think some more....

Source- Pratishtha Chaudhary

Mind- Think Some More Buddy!!!

Click on FURTHER REFERENCE to know more

A Journey with Mind

Class 11th, Physics
Teachers always told us that the speed of light is 300,000,000(300 million m/s). It is the highest speed recorded so far. And according to physicists, no other object can attain speed more than the speed of light. Like any other student, I readily believed this fact.

Sometimes, I dream of driving a vehicle with a speed equal to that of the complex number written above(tough to write it again and again!!!). I know it's next to impossible, but my life took an unexpected turn yesterday. I got a chance to enjoy the ride at a speed definitely above 300 million m/s.
                                                                               *****
I had a mock CAT exam yesterday and due to recent change in the pattern of CAT exam, it was an online exam. I was pretty sure that I would be able to get through this mock but things went on a different track. To understand that, I will take you to my past.

Story till now...
Earlier, I tried to enter the field of medicine. But my coin didn't work there. Later, I tried to link my personality with the lifestyle of a doc. I understood that I was about to commit a big mistake, which I averted due to my luck(maybe). I tried to find out the correct career for me and the quest came to an end after my sister introduced me with the field named "MBA".

Now
I was all set to take the exam. But as soon as I sat in front of the computer screen,everything went blank. I traveled hundreds of days back and saw myself sitting in front of another computer screen, giving my medico exam. Suddenly, all my body parts turned numb. I was like, facing an anaphylactic shock.

Everything changed, from my surroundings to my inner self. I traveled two years back in time just in a fraction of seconds. It took me 70 minutes(half of my exam time) to come out of that shock like condition.
                                                                              *****
This incident changed the monotonous course of my life and added a ting of oregano to it. Laws of physics failed yesterday. Everything was in a different level of this existing world. And when I tried to recapitulate my experience, I felt something ineffable . It was like a block hole, pulling me in. At the same time, it also acted like a magnet, pushing me away. I had never experienced such an enormous power of this "mind" before.It forced me to think that what will 300 million m/s do in front of the power of one's brain!!!

Even psychologists define it as "science without any definition". Every mind works differently, thinks differently and responds differently.
Mind is like a human being in it self. Or should I say, its the only thing that makes us "human".
Finally, I rode a vehicle named MIND with a speed more than that of light. And believe me, its amazing as well as horrifying.

AMAZIFYING(amazing+horrifying)
:P

This experience even re-established my belief in god.
We will find about it later.
Till then, hold your suspense....

To find out, move ahead my friend
REVEAL THE MYSTERY!!

Cricket or Chess?

India is not known to produce "World Champions". In most of the sports, Indians are yet to set up a milestone. But, it is made sure that the world champs we produce are known in the world for their game as well as their modesty.

We have few people who actually worked hard for the pride of the nation. Major Dhyan Chand, Milkha Singh, P.T Usha, Sachin Tendulkar, Vishwanathan Anand are few of the leaders of this “World Champions” lobby.

But as every community has a TOP LEADER, let’s find out the Sardaro ka Sardar (leader of the leaders) for this contingent.

After fumbling with thousands of thoughts in my mind, I decided to go according to the facts and figures. Performance and efficiency of these players were my top weapons and in the end, I was cornered by the two of them.

These two took India to another level of Pride and Honor.

Interestingly, both of these BIG GIANTS had different paths but God destined them with similar problems at similar time.

Well said,”Winners do similar things but in a different manner”. These two also struggled through out their career but their approach was different from their predecessors.

So, I was ready with my numbers to proceed towards the GRAND FINALE.

:P

One one side of the ring, we have

5ft 5inches   39 yrs old                        -SACHIN TENDULKAR

On the other side

5ft 8 inches 42 yrs old                        -VISWANATHAN ANAND

And now the battle is on....

One started with his career when he was just 15yrs old and the other came into the scenario after winning the National Sub-Junior Title at the age of 14.

By 1988, V. Anand became a Grand Master while the precocious 16 years old boy faced killer deliveries from Pakistan’s Pace Attack (considered the best at that time) and played them ferociously.

 

Seven years later, Anand reached a whisker away from the World Title but lost the game as well as his form. This defeat followed with a rough patch for him. In 1996, Sachin was clearly ahead of every batsman in terms of runs, strength and form. India was just about to win The World Cup when its dreams were shattered with a defeat in the Semi Finals. Captaincy in the very next year crushed the fumbling form of Sachin Tendulkar after the world cup defeat.

Hard work, Clear Vision and Passion in the game joined the grit to form a solid wall.

In 2000, Anand gave his best shot and showed his brilliance to the world. He won his first

"WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP". Sachin Tendulkar also became the king of the game. He was bestowed by Sir Don Bradman, the greatest cricketer of all times.

These two gave answers to their critics by the game they played and not by their words.

The life was never a dream land even for these masters. One got shadowed by an injury while poor performance took over the shine of World Title for the other.

India and the never ending Indians tried to step over these masters to establish their names in the game. Young chess players sprouted up to fill the void formed due to strangling performance of V. Anand while more aggressive minded players tried to be another Sachin Tendulkar.

The conditions became worse with an elbow injury for The Master Blaster while Viswanathan Anand was facing attrition.

Any lesser man would have left the game after reaching the scrap from the top position. But these two had some other plans.

Both of them reinvented their games, learnt their new roles and practiced even harder. Success paid well in the end. Anand regained his form while Sachin became the “run scoring machine” again.

Anand got his World Championship title back and Sachin Became the highest run scorer in Tests as well as ODIs.

2010 started and it saw the emergence of these master players to their best levels. Sachin got his double hundred in ODI and became the first batsman to accomplish this feat in ODIs while Anand continued with his winning streak. The defending champion remained as World Champion even in 2010.

Year later, Sachin placed the WORLD CUP in his cabinet. World expected Sachin to stop but India was still all seated to see some more action. His hunger for some more increased further and he blasted out with his 100^th hundred. He showed the world his mastery over the game. Against all odds, Anand won his fifth Title in The 2012 World Championship.These mind boggling achievements confused me more. Even after going through this stress condition (thinking is a stressful job for me, Phewwwww!!!), I was unable to find out the winner.

 My question is still unanswered and I think it should remain unanswered.

If I knew Then Whatever I Know Now

From a long time, I was cogitating of something good to write on. Every night, I sat in front of my laptop and ended up watching some sitcom or movie. But today something weird happened.

Though it gave me an idea to write on or Should I say a Question to think upon. But thinking about that topic made me come to see every color on my face. Initially I felt quiet low, then better, much better and finally the best. Now I am brimming with thoughts and energy.
Life is so interesting guys, it just throws new situations on you at any moment. Not wasting any time, let’s start off with the situation (the one I faced today).
                                                                            *****
Today, I switched on my laptop and saw an old friend's name on a social networking site. She made me think of the last time we conversed. It was not a healthy discussion. Confusion lead to altercation.
We fought and then she stopped talking to me. With time, I moved on and forgot her completely until today afternoon. I messaged her admitting my mistakes and apologized for them. But she started off with the mess again. I wasn't in a state to take more so I just told her that I am sorry for my second approach to improve our relation.
After that moment of rage and anger passed, I felt little depressed. But this girl provided me with a game that made the energy spurt into my body again from its reserves. I call that game as:-

                                                    If I Knew Then Whatever I Know Now

When we look back at our mistakes, we cry or laugh or a bit of both of them. But what would you have done if you knew that how things will sprout up in the future? Would you have quit your job before? Would have married your husband or wife? Would you have returned to your country before it was too late?

Now, its to time think guys. All the things that you rued upon, things you want to edit or even remove from your past.
What would you have done if I would have given you a time machine??

When I see back, I feel that sometimes I never thought that I am committing such a big blunder. I didn't have any idea that what I am doing or saying today can hurt someone or me back. Rarely, things are different from my side but the end result kept itself pretty same. I made my end clear but the other side changed its usual course. Things went topsy-tervy in both the cases. Sometimes in life you know that what you are about to do can be a mistake but you are never certain that it is a mistake. The only way to find if it’s a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say that “Yep!! It was a mistake”. One should commit such mistakes to know and learn more about mistakes (even I think I have committed some mistakes in this sentence :P).  Sometimes, you think of doing good but it goes the wrong way. Saying what you exactly feel (at the wrong time) is also a mistake. Some mistakes gives us experience while some ruin a part of our life. Some become precious moments in life while some may turn the air blue.

Playing this game and looking back at all the mistakes made me learn few important things. Mistakes are important part of one’s life. They teach us or test us. They are meant to be fought with courage and patience. They are like a barometer of our life which indicates that how much we evolved with time.

A person experiences different events in his life. Everyone goes through thick and thin. Some are worse, some are great and some are encouraging while some shatter your confidence. But how can one find out if he evolved after going through all this or regressed back?

 Mistakes are the right pick to find this out friends. Think about them again. Construct a whole situation again, keeping in mind the things faced by the other side due to you, inference, path taken to reach the outcome. After this, you will come to know about your current level. Your take on that situation will change if you have evolved or regressed. BE HONEST TO YOURSELF and your answer will lie somewhere in your mind.

“What life has taught and made me till now?”

Try to find out the answer.

                                                                   *****

After following what I said (for the fight I mentioned before), I thought

...

.....

.....

She deserved it and I rocked it!!!
:P

P.S- I called her up. Listened to her feelings and now everything is back on track.