Mental Virginity-Need of The Hour(Part-4)

Today, I learnt something new at school. Periods. Mom says I'm a big girl now. I should be careful and should not talk about it in front of papa and bhai!

I should also sit with my legs closed together and behave properly. 

Don't enter the kitchen. Don't touch the pickles. Don't bake cakes. Don't come in contact with men. Don't swim. Don't wash your hair.

Don't don't don't!

I find it very problematic that most mothers don't discuss menstruation with their daughters before they begin to menstruate  the discussion always takes place after the shock and for a girl between the age of 10-14 years or even younger,  it really does come as a shock to see their favourite dress stained with blood one fine day all of a sudden.

Some might even think that they are sick or have hurt themselves 'in the place where they pee from!' Yes that's what it is called. 

When ads for sanitary napkins appear on television,  mothers bat away their questions by saying, they would understand when they get older.

Then there is school,  which plays its part in further hushing up the topic and creating more confusion in the minds of young girls and majorly in boys as well.

I remember when we once had a seminar on menses. Mine hadn't started yet, but I had a vague idea about them . While the boys were sent out to play, the girls were made to gather around in a room, where they were introduced to menstruation and sanitary napkins for the first time.  As expected later,  the girls were all giggly and the boys were seen strutting around hinting that they knew what it was all about and shouting out names of popular sanitary napkin companies in order to embarrass the girls.  Schools really do a great job in messing up young girls and boys in this regard because,  instead of having a co-ed seminar and focusing on sensitising the topic,  they go for the most convenient route they can find, which is by segregation! 

In India,  most of the taboos stem from the time before sanitary napkins,  when women were made to stay in a hut outside their village during their periods . From not being allowed in the kitchen to being prohibited from going to temples,  the women were seen as impure  and were further bewildered with instructions to stay away from every possible chore!

This kind of attitude just reinforces the fact that menstruation is something to be embarrassed about and should be kept a secret. Or the time, when you go to buy a packet of sanitary napkins , the discomfort you feel when you tell the man standing there that you need a Whisper Ultra which is then put into a black polythene bag so that nobody gets to know what a girl is carrying because it is considered to be a shameful act!

There are women who have spent their teenage years,  too embarrassed to buy sanitary pads, even though their families could afford them and used discarded clothes instead.  

Sadly , there are still a lot of women and not just middle aged mothers and elderly grandmothers but also educated ones who contribute to the tabooing of menstruation even today! 

We still don't take pride in our ability to menstruate and give birth to a new life!!

(P.S- This blog article is submitted by another guest writer with signature PC. She is young, talented painter who wanted to write on a very complex issue that is very difficult for any guy to understand and write. I am thankful to her for expressing this feeling with all of us)

Yes or No??

"Get ready. They are here"

Her heart started pounding, hands started trembling, eyes getting little watery, erector pili muscles getting to their job, muscles getting twitches and complete body getting restless.

She gulped in some water and tried to calm down herself and specifically her mind. She did some final touch ups. And now she was all set to move out.
While sitting there and waiting for someone to give her an indication, her mind began thinking some weird thoughts.              


                                                                                     "Is this the right time?"
             
                                                "What will they ask?"                                                              
                   
                "How should I greet them?"

                                                                   "Is my lipstick looking okay?"
                                                                                                                                                                             "I hope I am not over done."
   
   "I hope everything happens for good."




"Di, let's go"

This brought her out of her weird-thought-land.

She came out with a tray in her hands. Like in all bollywood movies, it had a kettle, milk, sugar and some cookies. She served everyone as per the individual requirements. After sometime, everyone asked her to go out with the guy and show him their house and especially the balcony and its view.

She wondered that no one ever goes out on a normal day and today the balcony is suddenly like the best place to hang out.

But she did as expected.

Both of them sat down. They were looking a little shy but happy.

"Hi, My name is Kanav. And you are?"
"Hello. My name is Kanika"

"I heard you have done your post graduation and working right now"
" Ya. I did MBA. And got a good job from there"

"Great. So how is your work life going on?"
" Its pretty good. My company gives me a chance to maintain a good work-life balance"

.......
.......

And they kept on having a chat for an hour. Later, their family members came outside which made them stop the conversation. Everyone was smiling and knew that they will see each other a lot in future.

***                                                        ***                                                     ***

First day in college

He was late for his lecture. He reached room no. 6 and was panting heavily. Luckily, there was no professor in the class. He went in and sat besides a girl. He wiped his sweat and looked at his watch. But his mind was attracted towards a peculiar fragrance. He looked towards the girl sitting on his left as he expected that she might have got some good perfume. But he soon realised that its not of some perfume. This magnetic fragrance was coming from her long enchanting hair and distracting him from concentrate anywhere else.


After one month

Now, because he was attracted towards this girl, he tried to make sure that they become friends. They soon exchanged their numbers and kept texting and chatting with each other for long hours. They always used to sit together. Within no time, they were really good friends.
They used to talk about everything from family fun talks to stressful career ambiguities. Apart from each other, they didn't befriend many people around them. Most of them were mere acquaintances. And the reason was very clear: they never needed anyone else.

After two months

One fine day, they were sitting in the campus park and having a gala time with each other. He felt a sudden gush of blood as a thought struck his mind. He did not even want his breath to become a distraction at that time. He turned towards her and said " You know we are just perfect together. And I really adore you. Don't you think that we should consider the next level?"

The girl went all pink. She was surprised and tried to conceal her feeling so that she could say something. After waiting for about 10 seconds, she finally opened her tender lips and tried to speak her heart out. She took sometime to find out a particular way to express her feelings.

Her first word was a pearl like water droplet onto a rose petal. She said "Yes, Even I think so"

But as soon as the water mixed with happiness tried to come out of his eyes, a bitter pain was mixed into that as soon as she said
"But"

"But we can not be together. I have few restrictions. I told you about them na. Sorry, but even after feeling so right with you, we can never be together."

***                                                          ***                                                ***

What do you think my dear friends, how do you decide whether you will accept or reject some proposition?

Is it done by
Using some paper and pen to jot down all the pluses and minuses?
Or is it just by going with your gut feeling?
Or by flipping a coin?
Or some other creative way?

But if you are a rational person, you may like to see the problem from all the sides and then decide. Even if you do that, do you know what will be the root of all your + or -?

Situation!!

In your life, weather you accept or reject something completely depends on the situation. The way a particular thing comes across is the main punch. It can make or break the situation. It can change your perspective completely and make you re-think even if you have rejected it before. Situation changes positives into negatives and vice-versa.

Let me explain and elaborate it with the help of an example.
You remember the first and second part of this article, right?

Right, let's start then.

In both the situations, I have expressed love and its validity in various cases. Love is considered to be pure and an unbiased feeling of a human being. It is one's strength and weakness at the same moment. It is something which makes you skip a beat or makes your cardiac muscles work harder. So, I have taken this inexpressible feeling to explain the basis of this blog article.
In the two cases, both individuals feel in love with each other. It is an unsaid and unexpressed attraction for each other. We are talking about same two people who met in two different ways. In the very first case, they met by usual proceedings that happen in arrange marriages in India while in second case they were caught in a love trap.
But situation changed the outcome drastically.
While in the first case, they get to spend their complete lives together and probably happily ever after, whereas in the second case they were unable to get together because of some shortcomings and hiccups in between. In both the cases, feelings remained same but situation changed the ways.

So, are you really sure that you don't want X or there is an "or"?

Because this magical universe can make you do anything anytime!!
I would like to quote something from the Bhagavad-gita:

"All material activities in the world are being conducted under the three modes of material nature. Although these material modes of nature are emanations from the supreme lord, Krishna, He is not subject to them."

My Valentine

One night, As I looked out of my window,
I could see the stars twinkle, and the bright full moon glow.

The breeze was cool and erratic,
Perfect for any lover to get romantic.

One night, As I walked in the winters cold,
I wondered, what was largest in this vast world.

Is it the Mount Everest?Or is it the love for your dearest?

One night, As I started to dream,
Your beautiful face began to gleam.

My heart, you began to tow,
Is this what they call love?

From then, I had no sleep,
And in your thoughts, I was engrossed deep.

My joy knew no bounds,For the first time I heard the love sounds.

It is not the Tibetan plateau,
Not the Egyptian desert too.

There is something larger than the oceans blue,
And that is my love for you.

Today, at dawn, As I looked out of my window,
I could see a dim auroral glow.

I was firstly delighted, then confused,
As my heart had into yours diffused.

No words could express my feeling,
No gifts to show how much I was craving.

Your happiness is mine,
Your eyes divine.
I am your valentine,
Truer than the bright sunshine.

( This is written by my dear friend- JV. He is a part time poet and a very talented tabla player. He wrote this poem for his girlfriend. So, due credits to him for this wonderful piece. Kudos my friend.)