Don't be So "Sorry"

Just read this word loud and clear to yourself.

What can you feel when you read this word?

Whenever we hear someone saying a sorry, we infer two very simple things out of it:

• The person must have committed a mistake.
• He/she must have realised his/her mistake.

Make sure you read the above statement carefully because this blog article will revolve around two basic principles behind using this word "sorry".

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"I know what I have done. Please don't tell me that again and again."
"I am telling you just because I am sure you have not got what I meant."
"I told you that I got you. What else do you need from me now?"
"I don't see that happening."
"Okay. I am really sorry for what I have done. Let's end this now."

So, what's your take from this conversation?

For people of my age, I am sure you will remember one of those cute, little fights you had with your "the one" (They are nothing like I described them. Better word would be little annoying. But if you want happiness to prevail, it is cute. And I am sure, you must have been trained enough to consider it as cute.)

So. coming back to our main point of discussion, what is your take my friend?

Do you see basic principles of this word "sorry" getting fulfilled here?

In such scenarios, when you apologize (just a fancy word for being sorry), do you think that you really meant it?

Let me say something using own experience (yes I have done similar things, sigh!!) and observation, people usually say a sorry just to fulfill this newly injected principle. This principle is strong and potent enough to replace both of those cute and little principles that I mentioned before. And this principle is strong enough to change everything. This principle is:

Just end it man! Sick of what is going on.

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Everyone commits mistakes and everyone is at fault several times. But what you do immediately after committing a mistake is not to search for a solution or a way to correct it but to go to the concerned person and say those 3 magical words.

"I am sorry"

In today's world, usage of this word is just to prove that you are a smart person.

Smart because you understand how this world works. You know that so called "social etiquette" governs that when you are at mistake, just say a sorry.

This word will basically, get you off hook. Because you have apologized to the affected party, you don't hold any responsibility now. In other words, you have done your bit.

Amazing part is that even if you say it with some arrogance and anger

Bam!!

It will be accepted 84% of the times.

Everyone knows it, whether you understand this or not. But consciously or unconsciously, we all follow this principle.

So, I should rephrase my sentence:

Everyone is smart enough to understand this pattern (expert with or without this knowledge). 

Today it is very important for people to listen to this word if someone has committed a mistake. People are least bothered about your feelings of guilt and remorse. They just use the number-of-times-this-word-is-used as a barometer to measure that how bad you are actually feeling.

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We all must have heard one example to understand what is called as "reflex response".

In a lay man's language, reflex response is that sudden response that our body gives in case of some external stimulus, that should be addressed at priority.

Coming to that example:

Original View: If you, by mistake, touch a hot plate; body gives a response to move your hand away and save it from burning.

Modern View: If you, by mistake, touch a hot plate; body gives a response to first say a sorry!!



*Note: I am not against the usage of this word, I am just trying to break the modern notion of using this word to escape any discussions or uncomfortable situations. Its better to discuss for a while and understand your mistake. Then accept it rather than just saying it for the sake of saying it. Because one principle also applies post usage of this word:

Will try never to repeat this mistake

Saala Mein to Sahb Bann Gaya (Part-III)

I can never describe my days at B&D with these two words of english language "sailed through". That's because I was challenged at a regular basis. This was the most exciting part of my internship. I was questioned time and again to produce something different. Whenever Rohit asked me to tell me that think something different, I kept wondering about what was he actually expecting? How can I do something different when there is a fixed pattern these people must be following. Just teach me that and I am good to go."

Yes!!

That was my thinking and even while expressing it right now, I just want to go back and hit this knucklehead hard and show him what I have gained because of the brain scratching. Rohit and Naval gave me a hard time around. Whenever I used to ask them about anything, "Search on Google" was the only reply I got. Ritika and I shared the same look "Why can't they simply answer the question when google will tell exactly the same?".

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I actually learnt something about human psychology from this. Whenever we watch a movie where the protagonist is shown having sleepless nights and questioning himself again and again, we are very much excited with the idea. We enjoy watching their struggle.
But when it comes to us, we chicken out. It is something really common in us. And me not being any different, got infested with the very same rodent of "laziness and follow fixed pattern-ess".
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I still remember that night when I was sitting all alone in the office trying to give my best shot at work and the very moment Rohit saw my work, you have produced crap is what I get as his response.

Isn't this how life is!! From being hero to zero. At one moment, you feel so good that you have grown up and are spending sleepless nights in office and the very next moment your boss says that your work is utter nonsense.

Now just rewinding a bit....

I was having gala time with my buddy/companion/best work buddy Ritika. Everyday, we used to drink two cups of coffee. One at around 12 and second after lunch at around 5. So, we were having fun time during 5pm coffee break when Rohit marched in. He came to me and said those 3 magical words to me
"Show EBIT today"
(for the people who don't have a finance background, EBIT is the earnings of a company before we make adjustments named as   interest payments of loan and corporate tax payments)

Ritika was looking at me with those eyes "Tu to gaya yaar!!!(you are screwed buddy)". I went back to my desk and started working on my model. She came back and still kept laughing stealthily.

Slowly, by the end of the day, everyone started leaving the office. Ritika came to me and asked whether I'm done or not and without even waiting for my answer, she winked and left.


Now I was amongst the last few people in the office. I was getting calls from my dad asking about my whereabouts and the only reply I had to those questions was a simple "I don't know". And like this, I was the last one.
Now I had all those horror movie scenes going around in my head.  The only guy left in the office... All dark and empty around and out of no where a guy comes in front of me with an axe.

Phew!!! It was hell scary.
I felt the chill down my spine and just closed my laptop and ran to the metro station. Luckily, I was almost done before the spookiness made me do this.


The next morning was the one when Rohit labelled me as a dumb-head. Although I produced the right results but I wasted two hours on something that could have been done in like 15 minutes.
This was the time I actually heard my brain getting back in shape and ready to open the doors to new thoughts. (that sound of keeeeeeeeee....).

Saala Mein to Sahb Bann Gaya (Part-II)

Sitting at my work station, in front of my laptop,  I was thinking that when would I get over this "About the Company" part of my internship. It was pretty boring to go through pages and pages about B&D. It is very rare that even a full time employee would know the name of the founder of the company, year of start of operations, number of offices leave alone sections like number of division, management style etc and I was just an intern so you can imagine the boredom!

But the best part was when I looked on my right.

Guess what!

I found Ritika half-asleep with the project overview file in front of her. Looking at her made the situation even worse because for the entire time I kept thinking of switching with her and getting an opportunity to read something related to my work here. But I just discovered that the game was even on both the sides of the table.

But this moment was also like a revelation to me. I had a rush of blood within because I felt so proud of being part of the very same institute where we can dare to sleep on the first day of our internship while sitting right next to the mentor. This means that we are unbeatable when it comes to boring lectures and tortuous professors in big lecture theatres. That is like the best lullaby a student can ever get and the sleep is so satisfying at such times.

That's the spirit Ritika!!

Suddenly, Naval came by and broke her dream by saying
"I am watching you are doing. Wake up guys!!"

But the best part of the day was yet to arrive in the cafeteria during our lunch time.

We went inside and saw a coffee machine with "Cafe Coffee Day" printed all over it. It was like the company left no scope for any other advertisement on its coffee vending machine. The coffee made us feel much better.
We sat together when I saw Naval opening his lunch.

"A bowl full of american corns"

Although it is good to eat healthy but for a guy like me, who lives to eat and is taught that no meal is complete unless it is given a perfect polish of unhealthiness all over it, it was perfectly justified on my part to presume that this is not his usual meal. So, being a punjabi, I asked him
"Sir, are you on a fast today?"

He negated my question but his lunch over the next seventy four days more made it very clear that there are people who believe in eating healthy and not everyone is crazy for tasty food items like me.
Till date, Ritika and I share a good laugh over this incident when I showed my hungry-for-tasty-food-demon.

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My initial stint at B&D got more interesting with each passing day. It was mainly because I started learning the nitty-gritties of financial modeling on Microsoft Excel.

On one fine day, entered Rohit.
Before I start sharing my experiences with Rohit, let me give a brief description of him.



Rohit was my mentor during the summer internship. He is a perfect replacement of Shahrukh Khan in "Rabb Ne Bana Di Jodi",someone who believes in working hard and simple living.
He was quite focussed on his work and liked perfection in the financial models. He used to call me "Zoo-Zoo" and it was always fun to sit around and have chit chat sessions with him. So, luckily, I got a mentor who is also my friend now.

So, Rohit came and the things around me changed. Till then I had finished one financial model of a solar power plant project. This model was already completed by Naval and he gave us the needed information so that we could build our first financial model and learn its working. Rohit asked for my model so that he could figure out that how much did I learn about model building.

He looked at my model and entered a few number here and there. He was baffled by the model and asked me about the total time I took to build it. I thought this was the right time to get a first good impression so I proudly answered "Three".

"You don't know how to build a model. You just made sure that all these numbers are similar to the one built by Naval."


It was just the start of his feedback and was followed by a good amount of confidence thrashing words. I got to know one thing that the next two months won't be very easy with him. But little did I know that it was just one side of him.

To be Continued...