And I Feel So Lonely....

Today my colleges re-opened for the next academic year.
I was supposed to be excited,happy and in crusading zeal. Instead, I was drowning in my self created black water of thoughts. There are times when you wait for something to happen but when it actually happens, you feel that it was useless waiting for that thing to happen. Something like this happened with my excitement for the colleges to re-open.
Such perplexed thoughts eclipse the beauty of the day. Person gets baffled by his own thought machinery. In the end, all these thoughts find their concentric center at "being lonely".

A person associates his/her low points by pasting the label of being lonely in life. Every one feels that life could have been better if someone would have been their. Someone,in whom we can find solace, a place just meant for "me". Someone with whom we can share all our pains. One with whom we can sit for hours and share inanity of our silly mind. A person in front of whom we can say anything,do anything, feel anything and share anything.
A person's one forth part of the life goes into drain just to find this "someone". Some lucky ones find the "someone" in their partner while the unlucky one's try to kill their loneliness using other means(like I am writing this blog to do the same :P). Even if you are having a partner, he/she may not be available when you need them. In that case, such absurd thoughts gasps into your mind.
But the question is that
Why do we always need someone when we know that we will be alone at most of the crucial situations in our life?

This can be considered as an inevitable desire of a person or ineffable need of the restless soul within our body. A person just needs a comforting hand going through the hair and giving the needed halt from the unstoppable struggle of this "not so chosen lifestyle". After an exhausting day, a person just needs that care and love which cant be quenched with any 7 hours sleep.

                                                                             ******
Just while typing this blog, I came across a beautiful quote which gave me the needed strength and prepared me to face the next morning with the energy level at which I can lead any juggernaut. Its from some Anonymous source-
"When you are feeling lonely, your are actually an inch closer to millions of people who are having the same feeling at this moment"

I hope that it will be of some help for all those who are still feeling
Lonely!!!
P.S- One can win any battle alone man.... 
Lets Go For The Glory!!!

Final Destination of Life

FOR THE READERS
I know that in this blog , I will sound paradoxical in respect to my previous blogs but I need to share this feeling with you all. I am saying so as life will never be a wonderland for anyone here. Be prepared to face some bitter truths, some unanswerable questions and never ending thoughts.


The Delhi weather is turning out to be a bloom season for the flowers. Almost everyday, people are blessed with beautiful rain droplets falling from the endless sky. Such a weather turns everything serene,pure and beautiful. When the sun rays touch the green leaves, sky gets filled with every color. Walking with bare feet on the wet grass, touching and feeling the pure water droplets and enjoying the bounty of nature, all this is a part of one's perfect life. After my another exhausting week, I finally got some time to enjoy the divine nature. I went outside and strolled towards a park nearby. As soon as I entered the park, I realised the reason that why Aristotle said
                             "In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous"

I felt as if my eyes are a part of the pearl falling from that leaf tip, my body is like the rain water resting on the carpet of grass after covering a long and exhausting journey from the sky. I felt like a monk who is meditating on Mt. Everest and is in his utmost peaceful state. The surroundings were full of different colors of nature and life. My concept about life i.e "Live Life and Enjoy till you Last" got its deserving justification after enjoying in this rain.
I suddenly got a call from my friend. She was also enjoying the weather. Two of us did a little chit chat and as soon as I was about to end the conversation, she said something which washed away all the colors around me. She mentioned that her Nani (grandmother) had brought her home made pickles.
This reminded me of my grandmother who passed away this February.

                                                                             *****

It was the winter time in Delhi,India. The day started in a normal manner but no one had even the slightest idea that it would turn out to be the worst winter morning for us. I was having a gala time with my family when the phone rang. My mother picked up the call and everything changed around me.
"Heart Attack!!"
She  exclaimed this in some pain and mostly surprise. All of stopped at our places and minds diverted off the track and towards the phone call. As soon as she cut the call, she broke into tears. My dad rushed towards her and gave her a little comfort in his arms during the most painful time. He asked with trembling voice
"what happened?"
My Mother told her that my Nani (grandmother) suffered from a severe heart attack last night.
Everything went black for me. I felt as if someone took away one of my reasons to stay alive. Since my childhood, I had an unspoken bond of love with my grandmother. This bond was so strong that I loved her more than my own mother. Whenever we visited her, I used to stay with her for most the time. I enjoyed helping her with kitchen chores,going to the local market with her and the time when we talked a lot i.e the morning walk. I quickly revived myself from the nostalgic memories.
We quickly packed our bags and were ready to leave for the hospital.
I don't know why it happened to me but before we left, my dad got a call from my tayaji( brother of my dad). He said that leave Rupish at our place as my Nani's condition is stable now. My dad left me at his place and rest(Mum,pa and my sister) left for the 4 and a half hours long journey.

Till date I curse myself that I agreed with this decision.
I was really very worried all the time. I was not in a situation to eat,think or say anything. I felt as if I am trapped in a small box. My hands are tied and I am dying slowly due to asphyxia.
After this point, story splits into 2 halves

1. Story according to Me
2. Actual Story 

My parents reached the hospital. They called me up and told me that Nani is still under danger and nothing can be said. It was like a disaster for me. Expressing those feelings in words is impossible.
Somehow, I managed to sleep for that night. Next morning, I called my dad and asked the current status. He informed me that She is in a better situation now. Although it provided a bit of relief to my restless soul but I was still very upset, actually more than "just upset". I felt like visiting the most sacred place I knew around, Jhandewali Mata Ka Mandir(a holy temple of Goddess Jhandewalan).
I took the metro and reached my destination after an hour. I just burst into tears as I felt as if my grandmother has left me alone.
Somehow the never ending day passed and the next day, my father told me that she is safe and they are coming back for a week or two.
I was anxiously waiting for my parents. As soon as they reached the home, they informed me that my Grandmother passed away.

My heart is bleeding as I am typing this blog. But somehow I will try to complete it as I started this with a question in mind and I want to put it forward to all my dear readers.
Actual Story was my parents got the worst news on their way and since then they cried their eyes out.
The cremation was done as per Hindu Rituals.
I never got to see her and won't even get this chance ahead.

                                                                               *****
One word "Grandmother" took me 5 months back in time. All the colors of my life faded away. After 5months, I emerged little stronger but with an unbearable loss.
After this, I ended the call with my friend and I got a question in my mind.
What life is all about?
Is it just meant to create relationships with other so that hundreds cry when you die? Or is it just meant to face all the problems thinking that one day you will live for your own self and before that day comes, you get tranquility of white? Or is it meant to carry so many responsibilities on your shoulder and then suddenly leaving all of them to sleep forever?
Such thoughts overshadow the colors of "happy living".


For further reference, Read
Life-Definition of its own 

Who is this "Mr. God"?

In my last blog, I expressed my whole "Mind at the Next Level Theory" and in the end,I mentioned that this situation helped me to re-connect with my God.
But before I express my views on this complex and very sensitive topic , I want all my readers to ask a few questions from your inner self.

• Do you believe in God?
• If yes/no, what made you take that decision?
• If Yes, then how can you believe in something that can't be seen?
• If No, then just think of the first words that come out of your mouth when you see something terrible? (Are they something like,"Oh Jesus" or "Holy Christ"?)

 In my early life( I just 19, but even I had an "early life" :-P ), I was an orthodox believer of God. In everything good, I used to credit God's presence and in everything bad, I used to think that maybe god has something better hidden in his chest for me.
I clearly remember an incident which made my belief more concrete.
About 2 years back, I was preparing for medicine. One day, I lost a very important note book. It had all my notes and important questions. I was very tensed. My mum checked every possible and impossible place. But everything was in vein. 2-3 days passed but every effort was futile. Next morning, while I was on my way to school, I passed by my society temple. I prayed to god that please turn the impossible task into possible. Believe me or not but when I returned from my school, I saw the register lying over the bed.
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Time passed and my exam time arrived. I was well prepared for medical exam. Two years of my end less efforts were to be tested in the next 3 hours. I was apprehensive about the exam but on the same side I was raring  to give my best shot. Luckily or unluckily,everything went good for me.

Result time was near. I was very anxious to see that where my future is destined. But fortunately or unfortunately, I lost everything in that battle.
All my dreams shattered and so did my belief in god.
" When you lose something big, you lose many big things in a go"

                                                                            *****
PRESENT DAY/AFTER TWO YEARS
Yesterday's incident created a different atmosphere around me. It made me feel that whatever we have, whatever we do and whatever happens, everything is connected with each other.
If I would have got an admission in medico, I may have been leading a terrible life. A life where my actual self could have died long ago.
But today, I live a healthy and most importantly a HAPPY LIFE. I do whatever I feel like doing. Multiple things like Guitar, Dance, Karate, Day out with friends etc have returned to my life. I left all these things to get into a medical college. I changed myself. Now I feel more confident, more lively and more happy. And I guess, this is what actually life is.
"Live every moment like its your last moment alive"



Definition of God has changed in my dictionary. Earlier, I searched god in some idol or some prayer. But now, I found out that
God is in every person, in everything.
I strongly feel that there is some super natural force, that is circulating the positive energy all around us.
Don't you think that the negative energy is way more than the positive energy in the people around? Then from where do we get the
HOPE TO LIVE IN EVERY ODD SITUATION!!!
Time to think some more....

Source- Pratishtha Chaudhary

Mind- Think Some More Buddy!!!

Click on FURTHER REFERENCE to know more

A Journey with Mind

Class 11th, Physics
Teachers always told us that the speed of light is 300,000,000(300 million m/s). It is the highest speed recorded so far. And according to physicists, no other object can attain speed more than the speed of light. Like any other student, I readily believed this fact.

Sometimes, I dream of driving a vehicle with a speed equal to that of the complex number written above(tough to write it again and again!!!). I know it's next to impossible, but my life took an unexpected turn yesterday. I got a chance to enjoy the ride at a speed definitely above 300 million m/s.
                                                                               *****
I had a mock CAT exam yesterday and due to recent change in the pattern of CAT exam, it was an online exam. I was pretty sure that I would be able to get through this mock but things went on a different track. To understand that, I will take you to my past.

Story till now...
Earlier, I tried to enter the field of medicine. But my coin didn't work there. Later, I tried to link my personality with the lifestyle of a doc. I understood that I was about to commit a big mistake, which I averted due to my luck(maybe). I tried to find out the correct career for me and the quest came to an end after my sister introduced me with the field named "MBA".

Now
I was all set to take the exam. But as soon as I sat in front of the computer screen,everything went blank. I traveled hundreds of days back and saw myself sitting in front of another computer screen, giving my medico exam. Suddenly, all my body parts turned numb. I was like, facing an anaphylactic shock.

Everything changed, from my surroundings to my inner self. I traveled two years back in time just in a fraction of seconds. It took me 70 minutes(half of my exam time) to come out of that shock like condition.
                                                                              *****
This incident changed the monotonous course of my life and added a ting of oregano to it. Laws of physics failed yesterday. Everything was in a different level of this existing world. And when I tried to recapitulate my experience, I felt something ineffable . It was like a block hole, pulling me in. At the same time, it also acted like a magnet, pushing me away. I had never experienced such an enormous power of this "mind" before.It forced me to think that what will 300 million m/s do in front of the power of one's brain!!!

Even psychologists define it as "science without any definition". Every mind works differently, thinks differently and responds differently.
Mind is like a human being in it self. Or should I say, its the only thing that makes us "human".
Finally, I rode a vehicle named MIND with a speed more than that of light. And believe me, its amazing as well as horrifying.

AMAZIFYING(amazing+horrifying)
:P

This experience even re-established my belief in god.
We will find about it later.
Till then, hold your suspense....

To find out, move ahead my friend
REVEAL THE MYSTERY!!

Cricket or Chess?

India is not known to produce "World Champions". In most of the sports, Indians are yet to set up a milestone. But, it is made sure that the world champs we produce are known in the world for their game as well as their modesty.

We have few people who actually worked hard for the pride of the nation. Major Dhyan Chand, Milkha Singh, P.T Usha, Sachin Tendulkar, Vishwanathan Anand are few of the leaders of this “World Champions” lobby.

But as every community has a TOP LEADER, let’s find out the Sardaro ka Sardar (leader of the leaders) for this contingent.

After fumbling with thousands of thoughts in my mind, I decided to go according to the facts and figures. Performance and efficiency of these players were my top weapons and in the end, I was cornered by the two of them.

These two took India to another level of Pride and Honor.

Interestingly, both of these BIG GIANTS had different paths but God destined them with similar problems at similar time.

Well said,”Winners do similar things but in a different manner”. These two also struggled through out their career but their approach was different from their predecessors.

So, I was ready with my numbers to proceed towards the GRAND FINALE.

:P

One one side of the ring, we have

5ft 5inches   39 yrs old                        -SACHIN TENDULKAR

On the other side

5ft 8 inches 42 yrs old                        -VISWANATHAN ANAND

And now the battle is on....

One started with his career when he was just 15yrs old and the other came into the scenario after winning the National Sub-Junior Title at the age of 14.

By 1988, V. Anand became a Grand Master while the precocious 16 years old boy faced killer deliveries from Pakistan’s Pace Attack (considered the best at that time) and played them ferociously.

 

Seven years later, Anand reached a whisker away from the World Title but lost the game as well as his form. This defeat followed with a rough patch for him. In 1996, Sachin was clearly ahead of every batsman in terms of runs, strength and form. India was just about to win The World Cup when its dreams were shattered with a defeat in the Semi Finals. Captaincy in the very next year crushed the fumbling form of Sachin Tendulkar after the world cup defeat.

Hard work, Clear Vision and Passion in the game joined the grit to form a solid wall.

In 2000, Anand gave his best shot and showed his brilliance to the world. He won his first

"WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP". Sachin Tendulkar also became the king of the game. He was bestowed by Sir Don Bradman, the greatest cricketer of all times.

These two gave answers to their critics by the game they played and not by their words.

The life was never a dream land even for these masters. One got shadowed by an injury while poor performance took over the shine of World Title for the other.

India and the never ending Indians tried to step over these masters to establish their names in the game. Young chess players sprouted up to fill the void formed due to strangling performance of V. Anand while more aggressive minded players tried to be another Sachin Tendulkar.

The conditions became worse with an elbow injury for The Master Blaster while Viswanathan Anand was facing attrition.

Any lesser man would have left the game after reaching the scrap from the top position. But these two had some other plans.

Both of them reinvented their games, learnt their new roles and practiced even harder. Success paid well in the end. Anand regained his form while Sachin became the “run scoring machine” again.

Anand got his World Championship title back and Sachin Became the highest run scorer in Tests as well as ODIs.

2010 started and it saw the emergence of these master players to their best levels. Sachin got his double hundred in ODI and became the first batsman to accomplish this feat in ODIs while Anand continued with his winning streak. The defending champion remained as World Champion even in 2010.

Year later, Sachin placed the WORLD CUP in his cabinet. World expected Sachin to stop but India was still all seated to see some more action. His hunger for some more increased further and he blasted out with his 100^th hundred. He showed the world his mastery over the game. Against all odds, Anand won his fifth Title in The 2012 World Championship.These mind boggling achievements confused me more. Even after going through this stress condition (thinking is a stressful job for me, Phewwwww!!!), I was unable to find out the winner.

 My question is still unanswered and I think it should remain unanswered.