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Saturday, 3 May 2014

When I see myself in you


Just walked down to my washroom and looked into the mirror. They say that a mirror shows you who you are and what you are. It is said to show you the real "you".



But today when I walked in front of the mirror, I didn't see me. I gazed on that image I saw in front of me. It was of a twenty-twenty two years old guy with untrimmed beard, threadbare spectacles, tensed face trying to find out answers to many unsolved questions in mind. I kept looking and saw an image of another person in the glasses of those worn out spectacles. That guy was even more shabbily dressed and tensed than the former. But what surprised me was that within that image I saw another image of a person in the pupil of the eyes. This guy seemed to be dejected by the world, unaided, isolated and deserted from anyone around.

Suddenly, I just lost my focussed approach which was treading down the image line. I stepped back and touched myself. I realised I was none of those guys. I had a smile on my face, cool beard look and up-to-date spectacles to match my personality.

Then who were those guys?

From where did all of them approach in my image?

What did it signify?

Was it actually that? No, it can't be. It was long ago. It just can't follow me till now.

Then what was it?

Am I sure it was not what I suspect it was?

Was it really because of today's incident?

Was it.............

.......................

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Pooja: "It's getting late. Let's leave soon. It will take us an hour to reach home"
Kunal: "Sure. Even I was planning to leave as soon as possible. Let me just check whether I have done all the formalities required for the day."
Pooja: "Do everything quickly."

After sometime.

Pooja: "Are you done with everything. You know how everything is. Let's leave."
Kunal: "Ya. Let's go."

They went to the car and without wasting any time Kunal got on to the driving seat and was as usual excited to drive both of them back. Kunal just enjoyed driving after a hectic day at office. While going back home, they always used to listen to music and side-by-side had a regular chit-chat sessions.
Pooja used to discuss all the office politics and "who-said-what" stuff. Kunal used to filter things out. He used to act as if he is listening to all that stuff but like a typical guy, he used to shut the doors of his cerebrum and allowed it to enjoy some fun neighbor talk with the cerebellum. But something just caught his attention. Out of nowhere, Pooja started discussing her personal life. There was a little unrest in her life and the reason behind it was a breakup with her boyfriend. He did listen to everything but while listening his mind travelled time and distance.

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Aanya: " I just can't do it. We can never be together from now on."
Kunal: " Why are you punishing me? I am sure everything will be alright one day. At least give it a genuine chance."
Aanya: "Sorry but my family will also not support it. Its not possible."
Kunal: "We have spent so much time together. It means nothing to you now?"
Aanya: "Bye."

This one episode left Kunal shattered. His self-confidence and personality went for the butcher's knife and were dead for now.He just tried to assemble the broken pieces and connect the dots to understand what went wrong.

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Her tears brought him back to senses and he looked into her watery and crystal clear eyes. He was shocked to see himself in her eyes, depressed and lying alone on the ground, his eyes opened wide and hands trembling. Before he realised, he was gasping for fresh air and sweating in a well air conditioned car. He looked at her again and this time, he just saw the pain in her eyes so hugged her tight.

After sometime, she soothed down and was feeling better. But his mind was stuck behind. He was thinking again and again that why did he see himself in her eyes. He has got nothing to do with her boyfriend, her relationship or her breakup but he just felt connected as if he was involved in all this. It was like he was going through a breakup again. He could feel that pain and started directing his emotions in a very controlled and constructive manner in order to put her back and keep her moving.




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In life, sometimes you get a chance to see yourself in others. At times, you can just feel what others might be feeling. These are the desperate times when you just want to take things in your hand and make them move as per your command. These are the times when you feel that you know the situation, you know the loopholes, you know the potholes and you can just drive the other person away from this mess. It becomes frustrating to see the other person still doing what you think would be wrong to do in such a situation.

You try to pull him/her back, shout at her/him or if you are really connected with him/her that you will even try to just come in between the path. But what you forget is that you learnt the right way only after falling down again and again. You know what is right today only because you had enough trouble getting out of the pit you were digging unknowingly for yourself. And few things can only be learnt if you learn them on your own, without any external help. For example, when a butterfly comes out of its cocoon, it is said to be a very painful experience for the butterfly. But without that experience, butterfly will fail to live a healthy life ahead. In a very similar way, some life experiences are important to be learnt on your own. No matter how many times a person tells you what is right and what is not right for you, you need to fall down, get hurt and learn to get up and keep walking.



That's Life dude!!

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