Life in DU

Got up with a lazy face,went to the washroom to freshen up, slept on the pot to think what is going deep down or i should say WHILE thinking myself as a super hero. Finally, i won over all the obstacles. Credit goes to my hard work and constant motivational speeches( just a positive form of saying admonitions) from my parents. After winning, I celebrated my victory with a glass milk(which i hate) and newspaper.

Opened the newspaper and saw Kareena Kapoor dancing, Megan Fox running and Katrina Kaif drinking (aam panna). Guys possess special set of eyes. Only women are seen in one look,that too hot ones. To notice guys, we need to work harder. In between my angels, I saw some information of different colleges of DU.
I read few points. After 15 minutes i thought, " What a crap is this man!! There is nothing about canteen masti, running out of the class when teacher is writing, fighting with a gang if they have messed with your gang member. Just then I went to my room and wrote what I will tell the freshers about DU.
First of all, 5 DONTs. Because, its DU my friend,not the school. Its more important to learn DONTS first. If you don't agree, then have a look-


1) First and most the important one, Never ever ever talk to a friend of yours on phone while with a senior. If you do so, then at least don't ever tell your friend that the senior is a guy (make him jealous by describing some sexy female otherwise he will laugh at your bad luck),is bossy and is dragging you all the way to CP for his work. I know what will happen next and I want each of you to experience it. Why should I ruin the excitement...
2) Never laugh at any one in the college even if he/she is looking like a jackass. Later, he or she can introduce himself/herself as your teacher. Then, you will have a high level of rebuke in front of your class.

3) Never think that you have links and you are the boss. The Other person may have enough links to scare off yours. It can be very dangerous for your body, road and people walking on the road.
4) Never make a girlfriend in your class. Even try to avoid same college. This will give you the freedom to look for other beauties when she is not around. If you don't agree then listen to a few songs of a Bollywood movie, "Pyaar Ka Panchnama". Guys would understand this point.

CAUTION- Not following the above point can make your cheeks turn red and hot (hot is not something good here).
5) Never try to run out of the class while a teacher is writing. You are not KKKKrish, foot steps make sound. Common sense is not that common guys. Teacher can give you one of the biggest punishments for this offense.
Make you sit in the front row (Can't forget that entire week, urrrrrggggghhhhh).
Now few things that you should DU in the college. After all, college life is to enjoy.
DOs

1. Try to do all the DONTs. So that you can learn the importance of my golden words.
2. For all the dudes, do sneak into GCR (Girls Common Room) when no one is around and inside. There are comfortable sofas and mirrors all around.
3. For all the girls, do make a boyfriend. He would be your cashier and bodyguard.
4. Do eat Maggie and drink coffee near Law Faculty in winters. The atmosphere around, chilling weather and friends. All are at their top most level. 
5. Call Kamla Nagar as KNax and Vijay Nagar as VNax. It sounds cool as well as a mark to distinguish a DU student from the crowd.

This is what a DUait should know before entering the Restricted Zone where nothing is restricted.